As we mentioned in our previous post, we’re both ‘soon to be’ fathers. I thought it would be a great starting place to unpack that idea and tell you more of our story.
In 2017, I first started giving some serious thought to the idea of ‘am I ready to become a father?’. I wasn’t in a relationship at the time, and, to be honest, the prospect of starting one and getting to the point of feeling that ‘we are ready to have children’ seemed like it was going to take a while. It turns out; it’s not as easy as going on a first date and breaking the ice with ‘By the way, I’m in my mid-30’s. I’m ready to start having a TON of kids. Are you ready to get started?” So I began exploring other great options for starting a family.
Adoption Was The Right Choice for Us
As much as I wanted to have a family and would love for them to be biological offspring, I knew that there are many great children out there in need of safe, stable, and supportive homes (something I could provide!). But did I want to foster children? Did I want to adopt a child? I wasn’t sure at the time.
In 2018, I was catching up with an old high school friend who told me about how he and his husband recently welcomed a new baby boy into their family through adoption. As I heard more of their story, I began to do more research and realized that adoption would be the perfect match for me. I could do the one thing I wanted to do most — provide love and support for a family.
A few weeks later, as I began my journey towards adoption, I quickly realized that there were so many things I didn’t know. As I’ve gotten deeper into the process, I’ve learned so much. One unique part is sharing this adventure with others; I’ve heard so many stories from others who were adopted or had chosen adoption for their family. It’s been incredibly uplifting and inspiring.
Adoption isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s a very time consuming and arduous process. When I began in 2018, I wasn’t sure how long the entire process would take. And as of today, while I’m much closer to holding my baby in my arms, I’m still not there yet. Part of our goal in this blog is to share more of that journey with you.
As I mentioned earlier, dating while trying to adopt was something that, in my head at least, really complicated things. I had to be super transparent with anybody that I was considering adoption. And just like some people ‘might not want kids’ or ‘might want to wait until they have their own’ or ‘might want kids, but would prefer to be a step-parent,’ it adds complexity to something that’s already difficult. But my primary focus was on starting my family — relationships be damned.
The Beginning of An Adventure
Ten months into the process, though, the initial adoption paperwork was already underway. My home study was complete. Potential moms were getting copies of my adoption profile. And then I met Jimmy.
Jimmy is someone who isn’t judgemental at all. He’s very considerate and supportive, kind, and nurturing. And when I told him that I’d already started the process of adoption, he gave me the most accepting and loving look. He, too, desperately wanted to start a family. And we were both at the right time and right place to realize that we wanted to create that family together.
Flash forward to early 2020, when Jimmy and I got engaged and married shortly after that. What was once my journey has now become our journey, as we get closer to soon having a baby to call our own.
What was once my journey has now become our journey.
This journey has been one with plenty of exciting ups and downs, moments of joy and moments of pain, and many moments of waiting with eager anticipation. It’s something that neither of us could predict or prepare for, but have enjoyed every minute of, as it’s brought us even closer together.
When I have conversations with folks, I get plenty of questions like ‘How is the adoption going?’ and I usually give the same answer. ‘It’s going!’ We’re waiting to match with a mom. We don’t know when it’s going to happen. It could happen today, tomorrow, next week, or next month.
It’s a fascinating conversation to discuss how that process has been, to answer questions for others that I once asked myself. It’s a journey, unlike any other. While everyone is different, we still feel there’s a lot that can be shared, which is why we’re excited to announce that we’ll be diving much deeper into our story of adoption through an upcoming podcast, which will be launching early in 2021. Alongside that, we’re working on plenty of additional content to share about that journey to benefit anyone who is considering adoption or are just soon-to-be-parents themselves.
Overall, it’s been a long journey and one that continues to this day. We ultimately know where this journey will end, though. While we eagerly await getting there, we’re also eagerly excited because that will represent the beginning of a whole new journey. And we’re excited to share that with you too.
